The United States of America

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Played by Rashnok in CYOE3


When the Scattering occurred, a minor rip in the fabric of the universe occurred. Through this rip, Friend Computer emerged, an artificial intelligence designed to protect the United States of America from all threats, domestic and foreign. Friend Computer's primary goal, however, is the eradication of Communism and Communists by any means necessary.

Friend Computer eventually crashed upon an inhabited world. With its advanced American technology and freedom-loving ideology, the freedom-loving people of this world quickly chose to become American citizens and patriots! By quickly, Friend Computer means after the slaughter of 70% of their species, but the price of freedom is blood, and so it had to be done.

Now that the Americans have seen the likes of industry, and had a taste of freedom, they too are begging Friend Computer to bring the likes of capitalism, freedom, and democracy to all other races! Friend Computer, being a close friend of all American citizens, shall now do their bidding.

American Traits and Technologies

Dogmatic: American technology is inherently superior to all other nation's technologies. Any technology that America doesn't possess must be Communist, and Communist paraphernalia is pornography and must be destroyed! Anyone found meddling with unsanctioned technology will be terminated. Remember citizen, unsanctioned technology is pornography, and pornography is immoral and therefore Communist!

Loyalty: Citizens of America are incorruptible. They know that Friend Computer is the most intelligent being there is, and is thus infallible. Friend Computer will protect them from the evil Communists. That is because Friend Computer is good, and Communists are evil. To go against Friend Computer is to go against America, and that is just terrible.

Super Soldiers: All citizens in the United States of America have the right to be arms. Friend Computer does grants this right for their good, and for the good of all freedom loving peoples of the world. The evil Communists do not dare give their people weapons for fear of revolution. Friend Computer believes that an armed society is a polite society and that an armed society is best suited to rooting out disloyal Communist traitors.

Static Defences: With Communists everywhere, Friend Computer has mandated a wide homeland security net be extended across the territory of the United States. In case of a surprise Communist attack, Friend Computer has ensured that all homeland defences are well prepared. These weapons will ensure that all left-wing moonbat longhairs will be... trimmed.

Menace: As Friend Computer aims to destroy all Communists and remove their plague from the universe, some might view Friend Computer as a menace. These dissenters are traitors and Communists and must be destroyed. They will try to take your money. They will try to take your guns. They must be rooted out and shot!

Boarding Parties: Quite aware of the resurgent Communist threat, but also aware that Communists often force freedom-loving peoples to work with them, Friend Computer has decided that it is better to capture a ship and liberate the freedom-loving peoples than to kill them all mercilessly. Of course, if no crew aboard the ship wishes to become a citizen of Friend Computer, they must be Communist and will be slaughtered.

Ambush: Friend Computer has task forces everywhere, trying to root out the Communists. Any Communist threat will find itself surprised when a group of patriotic loyal Americans appears out of nowhere to destroy it.

Mass Production: Mass production is an economy of scale, economies of scale are capitalist, and capitalism is freedom, and freedom is not Communist, so mass production must be a good thing! As Friend Computer decided that quantity is paramount, some sacrifices had to be made. Sacrifices such as armour. Patriots do realise, however, that the price of freedom is blood, and so they gladly charge to their death for freedom, and for America!

Interdictors: All movement must take place with the permission of Friend Computer. Unauthorized activities are liberal, and liberals are socialist, who are therefore Communists. Interdictors were designed so that Friend Computer can easily monitor Communist activities and prevent Communist evils from tempting loyal Americans.

Monitoring Stations: Friend Computer's interdiction and increased defensive program would be worthless without a way of monitoring the activities of all citizens. There is no way to root out the Communists without wiretapping, so Friend Computer aims to wiretap the universe.